Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Honeymoon is over. Maybe it's just time to give up.

I'm very seriously considering no meds. None. Zero. Zip. There has YET to be a single drug (regardless of type) out of the 10+ that we have tried that works and works consistently. The Intuniv was great for a few to many days. Days. That's it. Not even a week. I just feel like there's no point anymore in trying and trying, hoping and praying and failing and disappointment. We meet with Ava's pdoc next weekend. I'm going to talk of weaning. Nothing does more than take the edge off for more than 4-5 days. There just seems to be no point in medicating anymore.

The more I look at what I've written above the more I think it would appear as though Ava's behavior would then be considered a behavioral issue. One would think. One would WISH. And I would often probably convince myself of this but time and time again, Ava shows no concern for consequences. NONE. I've taken away her going to playdates, birthday parties, kept her from dance class (her one true love), grounding - you name it, we've done it. Rewarding her, praising her - nope. She doesn't care. There is no single consequence and no reward that can return her from the dark side. So, in my opinion she's defenseless against the dark side. And so am I.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Holding our breath

Wow - as I type, I imagine I'll jinx us but Ava's doc added Intuniv to her cocktail and she took the first dose last night. She went down to sleep last night (usually our WORST time of day) with very little arguing and today was a fabulous day. She's a bit tired but we had a great day at the pool today as a family. She had her 2nd dose this evening and two hours later she went to be again with very little pushback. Could it be? Could we have found THE one?